


Question your Faith

by Kizmet



Series: Wounds:  Visible and In- [5]
Category: Lucifer (TV)
Genre: BAMF Ella Lopez, Dysfunctional Family, Ella Lopez & Lucifer Morningstar Friendship, Ella Lopez Finds Out, Ella Lopez is a the best, Gen, Protective Ella Lopez
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-05-29
Updated: 2020-06-01
Packaged: 2021-03-02 22:20:25
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 14,227
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24434212
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Kizmet/pseuds/Kizmet
Summary: Ella's world has always been a little unusual, what with a ghost for a best friend... But now that she's trying to figure out the best way to help Lucifer deal with his injuries and ensure that he never goes back to -whoever- hurt him AND helping her friend Rae-Rae figure out how to help her brother Lu... Well, a friend who is a ghost isn't that unsual, comparatively speaking.
Relationships: Azrael & Ella Lopez, Chloe Decker & Ella Lopez, Chloe Decker/Lucifer Morningstar, Ella Lopez & Lucifer Morningstar
Series: Wounds:  Visible and In- [5]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1642639
Comments: 67
Kudos: 219





	1. Fast Cars and Confessions

**Year: 2006**

Ella Lopez sauntered into the Marriott parking garage wearing her Sunday best with enough of the buttons undone to scandalize her mother. She kept her expression bored even as her heart raced. Subtly, she hoped, she scanned the rows of parked cars looking for something with some horsepower under the hood. Her eyes lit up when she spotted a Dodge Viper parked in the valet section. Coolly she walked up to the car then pulled her skirt up a bit to get to the shim held in place with the garter belt from her cousin’s wedding a week earlier. “Who ever knew these things could be useful for more than an excuse to lift the bride’s skirt,” Ella murmured as she slipped the slim piece of metal into the gap between the car’s frame and the window.

A moment later the lock popped, “Thank you, Pappy, for the bazillion times you locked your keys in the car,” she breathed and slipped into the seat. For a moment she just marveled and how slick and FAST the car looked even standing still. Then she popped the ignition out of the dashboard and set to stripping the wires.

“Wow, nice car!” Ella forced herself not to jump as her best friend’s voice sounded out of nowhere. “Why are we in it?”

“Great timing Rae-Rae,” Ella said. “We’re going joyriding. Julio is going to be green with envy when he sees this baby.” She licked her lips and touched newly bared wires together as she gave the car a little gas. The engine roared to life. “Do you know what that jerk said to me?” she continued as she put it gear.

“Oh, I don’t know,” Rae-Rae sighed, “Something about how his little sister should be figuring out how to catch a boyfriend not tagging along while he hotwired cars?”

“Like I’d be the tag-along,” Ella huffed. As she turned the car toward the exit furthest from the parking attendant’s booth. She gave the machine the ticket she’d taken on her way in and the automatic gate lifted, a moment later she pulled out into traffic. “Who’s the one who actually fixes the appliances after he and Jay stomp off, frustrated? Who keeps Mama’s car running when we can’t afford a mechanic?”

“Yeah but do you really want to be stealing a car?” Rae-Rae asked.

“Borrowing,” Ella said. She hit the gas and the acceleration pushed her deeper into the butter-soft leather seat, “And oh yeah, totally loving it. That only that’s going to be better than putting this beauty through her paces is seeing Julio’s face when I show up at he and friend’s meet up point in her.”

Ella headed out to the spot, a stretch of road where the city and county police districts overlapped and thus neither patrolled there, each assuming it was the other department’s problem. There were two other sports cars already there when Ella arrived, her brother and his friends clustered around them admiring their thefts. Ella revved her engine several times to draw attention. “Two years ago you didn’t even want to get your learners permit,” Azrael pointed out nervously. “Now you want to drag race in stolen- Excuse me, _borrowed_ cars?”

“You gotta face your fears,” Ella said, her eyes locked on the road. She revved the engine once more then took her foot off the break and roared down the deserted stretch of road, past her brother and his friends. At the intersection she hit the breaks and whipped the wheel around. The smell of burning rubber filled the air and two tires came off the ground as the car spun and skidded sideways across the pavement. Rae-Rae screamed and Ella shrieked. The car came to a stop, still upright. Ella laughed gleefully before looking over at her white-faced passenger. “Sorry, bad memories?”

“One of us could get hurt pulling shit like that and it’s not me,” Rae-Rae scolded fiercely. “I don’t have enough friends for you to go around risking your life.”

“Sorry, sorry.” Ella couldn’t stop the grin from creeping back across her face, “But that was better than a Cedar Point coaster.”

Ella’s brother and his friends jogged over to see who the new racer was. Ella took a moment to run a hand through her hair, took a deep breath, then opened the door and swung her legs out. Julio’s jaw dropped. Ella tilted her chin, daring him to scold her for being there after that show. “Cool wheels or what?” she asked.

“How’d you score wheels like that?” one of Julio’s buddies breathed.

“Chrysler VP retirement party at Marriott,” Ella said smugly. “I just walked in like I was someone’s bored teenage daughter and bang, boom, drove out with a sweet set of wheels.”

“Nice one.”

“Hey you love your older brother right?” Julio asked. “I get next dibs on driving that sucker, don’t I?”

Ella grinned and gave him the wheel. The ten of them traded drivers between the three cars and took turns racing each other up and down the street. Ella wasn’t the fastest driver but the Viper won more races than any other car. For a night she wasn’t the crazy one, or the freak who talks to ghosts, or even that poor girl who’d been in the awful wreck, she was the one with the fastest ride of the night. And Ella loved it.

Once the fun was done Julio directed Ella to a quiet backlot. “There’s a bus stop for the all-nighter not far from here and we haven’t dumped anything in this lot for a while,” he said as they parked the car.

Ella twisted off the wires in their original configuration then neatly wrapped electrical tape around them before popping the ignition back in the dash. She tried to rub a scuff out of the surrounding leather then shut and locked the car door. “Think the police’ll find it before anyone steals it for real?” she asked.

Julio laughed and ruffled her hair. “A hardened criminal you are not, sis,” he said. As the siblings waited for the bus to take them back home he added, “You should be sure to go Confession this week, you know, clean the slate. Nobody born in our neighborhood is ever gonna be right with the cops so, fuck it all, why bother trying when this is more fun? But it’s important to stay right with the big guy.”

Ella nodded. “Yeah, no problem.”

When she snuck into her room later that night Ella found Rae-Rae sitting cross-legged in the center of her bed, waiting for her. “It doesn’t work like that you know,” she said. “You don’t get to party Friday night and Saturday night then confess Sunday morning and you’re good for the week.”

Ella rolled her eyes, “Don’t be a wet blanket Rae-Rae.”

“Hey, dead-girl talking here,” Rae-Rae snapped.

“Okay, okay. I’m listening,” Ella said.

“Believe me, you don’t want to die with guilt dragging you down. Confession can be a TOOL to help you resolve your guilt but it’s not some magic eraser: ‘Forgive me Father, I took the Lord’s name in vain sixteen times last week, jaywalked and oh yeah, I knocked over a liquor store. What formula do I need to follow to get forgiveness so I can go out and do it all again next week?’ That’s a load of shit Ella. People need a way to deal with guilt, so don’t cheapen the one you were raised with. Save confession for when you actually feel bad, when you want God’s help to stop or to make amends.”

“So… It’s not actually boosting cars that sends you Hell?” Ella asked speculatively.

Rae-Rae snorted, “Not when you’re as proud of it as you are.”

“You got an inside line about how the Big Guy feels about premarital sex?” Ella asked. “Or if maybe, sometimes, I’m noticing the hot chica on my favorite show instead of the dude I’m supposed to be drooling over?”

“Well, I don’t know everything,” Rae-Rae cautioned. She laughed nervously. “I’m dead, not like an angel or something. But… I could tell you what I see and oh yeah, I know exactly who you’re talking about and she is HOT.”

“It’s not that the guy’s anything to sneeze at,” Ella continued. “But, I mean, why limit yourself, right?”

Rae-Rae giggled, “Lopez, my favorite brother would totally love you.”


	2. Investigating the Mayan

“Lopez!” Ella started, her eyes wide as the shout dragged her away from the background check she was running on Lila Clayborne, trying to piece together why the woman might have taken Baby Charlie and where she’d go. Ella pulled her headphones off and turned to see Lt. Seder, Pierce’s replacement, an older man pulled back from retirement to head the Homicide Department until the new round of candidates had been vetted within an inch of their lives, standing in the door glaring at her. “Drop whatever you’re doing and get to the Mayan,”

“Sir, I’m working a kidnapping,” Ella protested. She didn’t insult the man by reminding him how much every second counted when it came to recovering a stolen child.

“We have over thirty dead bodies,” Seder said grimly. “I need to know that there aren’t going to be more before the press catches wind.”

“It’s Lucifer’s nephew,” Ella tried. Her morals told her that it shouldn’t matter but her heart was in full agreement: you took care of your own and, civilian consultant or not, Lucifer was one of theirs, part of the LAPD.

Seder hesitated. “There are already whispers comparing the Mayan to Heaven’s Gate, even Jonestown,” he said. “Leave Decker a _message_.”

Ella nodded, a message Chloe didn’t have to get until after her partner’s nephew had been recovered, regardless of what else might be happening. _‘Maze is on the case, there’s no one she can’t track down,’_ Ella told herself, trying not to feel guilty as she grabbed her kit.

The Mayan was as bad as Ceder had implied, maybe worse. The bodies were tangled in a heap, like they’d all just fallen down in a moment. It made for slow going when one body couldn’t be properly examined without disturbing the evidence on the ones around it.

“If I’d wanted to be an archeologist…” one of Ella’s colleges groaned once they were finally ready to move the outer layer of bodies which only restarted the cataloguing process again with the new evidence revealed.

“How the Hell did dozens of people get stabbed simultaneously in the back of the head?”

“Could they have all done each other?”

“Where are the weapons then? And they were all facing inward.”

“Whoever they were looking at isn’t here.”

“We’ve got some evidence of a fight over here!”

“Where’s the blood?” Ella asked. “Sure, whoever orchestrated this could have taken the weapons afterward… Somehow, without disturbing the huge pile of bodies… but I’ve got streaks of dried blood and no matching blood pools.”

“It’s like they were killed somewhere else and just walked here before realizing they were dead and falling down.” Ella was glad she didn’t have to be the one to say it.

“Zombie apocalypse?” one of the unis guarding the scene muttered. Ella grinned at him.

“Hey, isn’t that the crazy priest who was having people murdered to try to prove that our Lucifer’s the actual Devil?”

Ella felt a cold chill run down her spine as she hurried over to confirm William Kinley’s ID. _‘Big Guy, please don’t let Lucifer be here- No, can’t ask that. Help me hold it together ‘cause I’ve got a job to do and I’m really worried about my friend.’_

“Get a location on Morningstar now,” Seder said grimly.

It got worse a few minutes later. “Sir,” Ella said. “I just got a look at the body in the alley, it’s Lila Clayborne. She’s our main suspect in Charlie Martin’s kidnapping.”

“Espinoza!” Seder called. “Take Lopez. Go talk to the Martins. If Morningstar traded himself for his nephew we need to know.” He raised his voice to address the room at large. “Look for any evidence of ritual and where it might have taken place. We’ve got a priest charismatic enough to talk a man into two murders and suicide via driving a broken chairleg through his mouth. This guy’s hellbent on Morningstar’s murder and he had the leverage to make our consultant cooperative. But until we’ve got a body, Morningstar is NOT dead.”

Ella lifted Dan’s keys on the way to his car. “Driving settles my nerves,” she told him as she climbed over the center console to slide behind the wheel.

Dan rolled his eyes but walked around to the passenger side. Three minutes later he was clinging, white-knucked, to the panic strap while Ella slid around corners, “At least put the siren on,” he begged.

Ella flicked the siren on while sliding into a gap barely longer than the car. “Chloe wouldn’t let Lucifer…”

Dan licked his lips, “If they had Charlie… And you heard Lucifer the other day. The last time I heard him talking like that he put himself in a sniper’s sights and dared the guy to shoot through him. He didn’t even know the target that time. Lucifer’s more than self-destructive enough to do it and with a kid involved Chloe…” Dan sighed, “Chloe’ll try to get him out alive but… God, I hope he doesn’t drag her down with him.”

Ella turned to glare at Dan.

“Eyes on the road!” He shouted.

“You know Lucifer wouldn’t let Chloe get hurt,” Ella said.

Dan breathed a sigh of relief as the late-night traffic thinned out as they reached Linda’s residential neighborhood. “Physically? Not Chloe,” he admitted tightly. “But he almost let her marry Pierce, aka the Sinnerman. Candy Morningstar, no need to say more. And you weren’t around for this, I _had_ to forgive him because Malcolm was my fault and Lucifer saved Trix and Chloe immediately afterward, plus keeping me out of jail but, Ella, he tried a suicide-by-cop when Chloe had to arrest him. She had to arrest him, frame-job or not it was her job to arrest him until the evidence proved it one way or another. You get that right? I still don’t have a clue how he _didn’t_ end up dead that night and if he had it would have destroyed Chloe.”

 _‘To have Lucifer die like that, right in front of her, Dan’s not kidding about what it’d have done to Chloe,’_ Ella thought. _‘And then when she proved he was innocent, ‘cause there’s no way she wouldn’t have torn the frame apart, it would have taken her heart.’_

“We’re here,” Ella said.

Dan nodded grimly.

There was a long pause after they knocked then Amenadiel threw open the door and stepped aside to give Maze a clean line of attack. She stepped forward then stopped, “Oh it’s you,” she said with a flick of her wrists her knives vanished.

Amenadiel ushered them inside then quickly shut and locked the door behind him.

“Who was it?” Linda called in a shaking voice from deeper in the house.

“Just Ellen and Dan,” Maze shouted back. “And you’re supposed to stay quiet until we give the all clear. If there’s a lot of them yelling just gives them a direction.”

Linda crept out of the kitchen, hunched protectively over Charlie. She gave Dan and Ella a weak smile. “They found Charlie. I should have called you.”

Dan didn’t disagree. “We found the woman who was posing as his night-sitter,” he said. “She was working with William Kinley apparently.” He glanced around to include Amenadiel and Maze. “Where are Lucifer and Chloe?”

The three of them traded a look. “There was a family emergency,” Amenadiel said. “Right after we recovered Charlie. Lucifer said he’d deal with it. Chloe went with him to the penthouse so they could have their farewells in private.”

Dan took Amenadiel by the elbow, “Kinley and around thirty possible acolytes are dead. You have Charlie back, we can put you and Linda into protective custody. Now is not the time to hold anything back.”

“Lucifer and I received word of a family emergency,” Amenadiel repeated. “Luci’s going to take care of it. He took Chloe to the penthouse, if you hurry you might catch him before he leaves.”

“Amenadiel, he’s your brother. How are you going to live with it if he dies because you wouldn’t cooperate with us?” Dan asked.

“Daniel, I’m not lying. Lucifer is choosing to uphold his responsibility to our family and- And I’m glad he’s finally growing up and recognizing that he can’t just do whatever he wants with no consequences,” Amenadiel said.

Ella caught the hitch in his voice but didn’t know how to call him on it. Dan was already storming out. “You up to driving again?” he asked. “If there’s any truth to what he said we still might have a chance to stop Lucifer from doing something stupid.”

After another hair-raising drive, they found the penthouse trashed and Chloe curled up in a miserable ball in a corner of the balcony. “He had to go,” she said shakily, her face marked by tears.

Ella immediately joined Chloe on the floor, wrapping an arm around her friend’s shoulders.

“Chlo? Chloe, where did Lucifer go?” Dan demanded, trying and failing at keeping his voice gentle. “Is there someone above Kinley in this insanity?”

Chloe started laughing, then she turned to Ella and asked, “What would you do if God turned out to be as much of a cruel bastard as Lucifer makes him out to be?”

* * *

“We caught up with Lila Clayborne out of the Mayan. We- Lucifer, Maze, Amenadiel and myself confronted her and took back the baby.” There were no doors in the penthouse and Ella could easily hear Chloe giving her statement while she… processed the scene.

Lucifer’s closet had been spared the ransacking the bedroom and livingroom had suffered, and was a little OCD, which didn’t surprise Ella in the slightest. A place for everything, everything in its place. Six empty hangers, two suits in a hanging next to a garment bag in a corner clearly designated for dirty clothes. That left the clothes Lucifer was wearing and two other suits. _‘Only a short trip then. That’s good,’_ Ella tried to tell herself. She took a dry cleaner’s tag off one of the hangers and noted that there was a phone number on it. Then she headed for the bathroom.

“Lila ran inside the Mayan, we didn’t follow. I know I should have called it in but- But there was an emergency with Lucifer’s family- I don’t- I don’t know exactly what,” Chloe’s voice broke a little. “Lucifer said he had to go. Immediately. I can’t- I should have called it in, Lila’s location but- Amenadiel and Maze just wanted to get Charlie home to Linda and- And Lucifer- We came back here- And then he left.”

Lucifer’s phone was lying in the center of his bed. His toothbrush and razor were still sitting beside the sink in the bathroom.

“Lt. Ceder,” Ella vaguely recognized the voice as one of the newer unis. “They’ve identified another of the bodies, it’s Bishop Hoffman.”

 _‘Kinley’s superior, the guy who had testified that Kinley suborned the murders of Susan Ochoa and David Ramirez and the sucide of Oscar Rivas as part of his obsession with Lucifer.’_ Ella shook her head, _‘Pendejo actually thought our Lucifer was the Devil, the Biblical Devil! And even if Lucifer was, how the FUCK did that justify what Kinley did? Like ‘Thou shalt not kill’ is a hard one to remember. Murdering scumbag! Vales Verga! Even if it wasn’t totally crazy, if the Big Guy had issues with his son hanging out in L.A. He could deal with it Himself, doesn’t need no loco clérigo getting himself involved.’_

Ella heard the service elevator and followed the sound down an odd, crooked hall. After a moment Ella realized that alternating the sizes of the rooms eliminated direct lines of sight and compensated for the lack of doors in Lucifer’s home to provide privacy. At the back of the building the hall let out into a kitchen where the ugliest mermaid picture Ella had ever had the displeasure of seeing was boldly displayed on the opposite wall. Once she’d managed to tear her disbelieving gaze away from the thing, Ella noticed the rest of the room was really nice. _‘Not just model-house, professionally decorated nice either,’_ she thought, noticing wear and tear on the stove and a conveniently located knife rack next to a spice display with several bottles looking ready for a refill. _‘I shouldn’t be surprised, Chloe has mentioned him breaking into her place and cooking them breakfast more than once.’_

“I can’t believe he actually hung that eye-sore,” Dan muttered shaking his head at the mermaid before turning to Ceder and reporting, “All of Lucifer’s cars are here, there’s been no activity on his uber account.”

“Have we confirmed that Morningstar is not at the Mayan?” Ceder asked.

“They’re still untangling the pile of bodies,” the uni relaid.

“Put a rush on it,” Ceder said, staring pointedly at Chloe. “If Morningstar left with a member of this cult, we need to know now.”

“There was a family emergency,” Chloe repeated dully.

Ella stepped back into one of the guest rooms that peeled off from the crooked hall and called the number from the dry cleaner’s tag. “Hey, this is Ella Lopez. I’m a friend of Lucifer’s. Do you have his lilac shirt…” she trailed off leadingly and the girl who’d answered the phone obligingly filled in the rest. “We have two suits and dress shirts ready for pick-up.”

Ella ended the call with a distant, “Thanks,” then she stepped back into the kitchen where Ceder was still reprimanding Chloe. “We have what looks like a ritualistic cult suicide, judging from the people involved it was likely intended to banish your partner to Hell,” He said. “They had Morningstar’s nephew, who was miraculously recovered. You see where this is going?”

“There were four of us, including Mazikeen Smith, we took Charlie back from Clayborne,” Chloe repeated, sounding exhausted. “We didn’t trade Lucifer for his nephew.”

Ella took a deep breath, “Everything I’ve got says Lucifer left with the clothes on his back. He didn’t take his phone, toiletries, nothing.”

Ceder nodded. “Detective Decker, where is your partner?” he asked sternly.

“He had a family-”

“Who did he leave with, Detective?” Ceder interrupted sharply.

“He left on his own,” Chloe said, glancing towards the balcony.

“Chloe?” Dan caught his ex-wife by the shoulders and turned her away from the others. “Is there a threat against Trixie? Is that why you’re not helping us find Lucifer before it’s too late?”

Chloe burst into tears, “Tr-Trixie’s safe,” she stammered. “Everyone’s safe now.”

Ella shut her eyes briefly, _‘Big Guy, I know Lucifer’s not your biggest fan but keep an eye on him?’_

* * *

Thirty-six hours passed.

Several of the bodies from the Mayan remained unidentified but the LAPD was able to confirm that their consultant, Lucifer Morningstar, wasn’t among them but that was the only good news. The BOLO placed on the consultant didn’t produce any results and every other effort to trace him came up empty. As far as the police could prove, Lucifer Morningstar drove into the parking garage below the Lux with Chloe Decker at two the night of the Massacre and then vanished off the face of the planet.

Amenadiel and Chloe remained adamant that Lucifer had left voluntarily, albeit suddenly, to deal with an emergency in his family. Chloe claimed she didn’t know specifically where Lucifer had gone. Amenadiel insisted that it was impossible for him to explain where ‘home’ was for them or for him to put them in contact with Lucifer beyond offering to carry a letter.

Ella glanced nervously around the bullpen then crept into Lt. Seder’s office. “Can I help you Ms. Lopez?” the Lieutenant asked

“I was just- Well, Kinley’s vendetta against Lucifer. Lila Clayborne. Chloe and Amenadiel confirming they confronted her outside the Mayan. -um- They aren’t suspects are they?” Ella stammered as Dan slipped into the room behind her.

Seder shook his head. “Maybe they would have been if the Mayan victims had been killed by gunfire but, as impressive as Ms. Smith’s record as a bounty hunter is, the four of them couldn’t have taken on thirty individuals in hand to hand combat and walked away unscathed, it’s just not possible. We’ve determined that Lila Clayborne was killed leaving the Mayan, not trying to get inside and frankly, given that we’re talking about a woman who, to all appearances, kidnapped a newborn for- what-the-hell-ever was happening at the Mayan, no one really gives a shit if Lucifer, his brother or his crazy bounty hunter killed her. Anyone who wants to drag a kid into a mess like that,” Seder shook his head. “She got what was coming to her. Right now, the only thing we need to be focused on is finding Lucifer. We don’t know that the Mayan accounts for the entire cult, he may still be in danger.”

“It may not be as bad as it seems,” Dan said without much confidence. “There have been previous occasions where Amenadiel has claimed to be completely unreachable by phone while visiting his family in the ‘Silver City’. I think there’s a fairly high probability that their ‘family’ is some sort of cult. Lucifer lived in L.A. for six years before acquiring a cell phone or a credit card. His relationship with his ‘family’ is known to be extremely contentious. It is not impossible that he left everything behind in an attempt not to offend his family’s sensibilities.”

“The good news is our Civil Consultant may have been raised in an isolationist, technophobic cult,” Seder summarized dryly. “Or Morningstar left this apartment believing that he had no need for a cell phone, toiletries or a change of clothes where he was going.”

Ella cringed. _‘Big guy, please...'_

“Did Kinley and his cult off themselves as some sort of ‘finale’ after killing the ‘Devil’,” Seder continued. “Or is Kinley not the top man in the organization? If there’s even a chance that another incident like the Mayan is pending we need to know about it.”

“There’s another possibility,” Dan said reluctantly. “Something I saw at Lucifer’s penthouse reminded me that his notion of ethics can be… Unusual but he’s inflexible about them. If he made some deal with Kinley to get Charlie back there’s a good chance that he’d carry out his side of the deal even with Kinley dead, regardless of what he promised.”

“Do you concur, Lopez? Is Morningstar a threat to himself?” Seder asked.

Ella glared at Dan. “No,” she said flatly. “Lucifer doesn’t lie and he doesn’t break promises. Just because you think it makes life easier if you do it doesn’t make Lucifer wrong not to.”

Thirty-six hours turned into seventy-two. The Massacre at the Mayan was closed out as a ritual cult suicide and if there were some- a lot of unanswered questions about the mechanics of how it happened; the missing blood, the missing weapons; but _what_ had happened was clear enough and no one really wanted to know how Kinley had been able to turn such a diverse and unconnected group into a death cult, apparently in a matter of hours.

They stopped counting the time since Lucifer had disappeared in hours. Lucifer’s only available family and his partner both insisted that there was nothing to worry about, nothing sinister about his disappearance, and even if the rest of the police department found Chloe and Amenadiel’s story implausible they weren’t quite willing to call Chloe a liar, at least not officially. And so the Mayan case was closed with nothing more than a few notes about Lucifer’s connections to Kinley and the kidnapping.


	3. Feeling the Absence

It was ten in the morning and Ella automatically started clearing off a corner of her lab table before she remembered that Lucifer wasn’t going to drop in with coffee and a desire to indulge in the sort of department gossip that Chloe tried very hard to remain ignorant of but which Lucifer and Ella both revelled in. It had been two weeks since the Massacre at the Mayan and Lucifer’s disappearance off the face of the Earth.

_‘I should go to the coffee machine and try to meet someone new,’_ Ella thought. _‘I really should. The trick is finding someone who can be salacious without being judgy. It’s not replacing Lucifer. If I do find someone I can invite them to join Lucifer and I when he gets back- He will come back.’_

When she turned into alcove with the coffee machine Ella found she wasn’t the only looking to gossip but the conversation she walked in on was anything but the sort she’d been craving. “You know, it was pretty much inevitable. I mean Kinley was crazy, no question, how he could think Lucifer, stealer of Espinoza’s pudding, was the source of all evil…” The detective could only shake his head in disbelief. “But you go around calling yourself the Devil, eventually, you’re going to run into someone stupid enough to believe you. Just wish we could find the body, lay him to rest properly.”

Ella all but threw her coffee cup on the ground as she stopped over to glare up at the two detectives. “I don’t even know where to start with that!” she exclaimed. “No, actually I do: Lucifer’s not dead. You heard Chloe, Lucifer left ‘cause of something with his family, it happens. And second, I’ve got the training slides from that seminar from last month on victim blaming. Since you’ve got time for this shit, and you obviously missed the point, I'm gonna give you a refresher course. But here’s a spoiler to help you focus: KINLEY GOING AFTER HIM WAS NOT LUCIFER’S FAULT!”

The scolded pair traded a look and tried to quickly walk away. Ella raised her voice slightly, “Don’t make me show you what Maze taught me.” The pair turned around and, at Ella’s stern gesture, they preceded her into the lab like a pair of scold puppies. She let the door slam definitely behind them.

On the other side of the bullpen a small smile lit Chloe’s wane face. Shortly before lunch, when Ella allowed the chastised detectives to escape, Chloe slipped into the lab. “You rule,” she told the nerdy forensic scientist.

“I totally do,” Ella agreed cheerily. “So what can I do for you today. I didn’t think you had a case?”

Chloe shook her head. “I was just remembering something.”

Ella looked curious.

“Back when you first started with the department, you told Lucifer you thought that the Devil got a bad rap? How’d you realize that? When every story throughout time says that the Devil is the embodiment of evil, how do you read the Bible and realize he was a scapegoat?”

Ella winced. “Well, um, they don’t,” she said cringing a little at having to contradict her friend. _‘Chloe was good about Rae-Rae, she’ll be okay about this too. It’s not like that Bible Study group where I said Adam needed to grow a pair and stop blaming everyone else for his choices.’_

“What do you mean?” Chloe asked.

“Okay, um, let's just take Greek mythology. The Devil’s the ruler of Hell and here’s the Greek God of the underworld, Hades. Same guy?”

Chloe nodded.

“Only Hades, he’s a pretty responsible guy, for a Greek God. I mean someone needed to give him a talking to about the right way to approach a girl, clue: It ain’t kidnapping, but he’s got nothing on Zeus in that respect. Zeus, woo-boy, cheatin’ horn-dog that one and Hera? Okay, Lady, we get it, you’re mad about how you can’t turn around without your husband stepping out on you but lay off the kids!! It is NOT their fault that your husband knocked up all their moms. But back to Hades, he doesn’t just rule over the Damned, he’s King of the Dead; ultimate ruler of Tartarus and Elysium both. So Hades, not such a bad guy, comparatively speaking and he’s Lord of BOTH Heaven and Hell, so not the Devil, or the Devil plus some? Then there’s Prometheus-”

“The fire-bringer. And Lucifer means ‘light-bringer’,” Chloe realized.

“You got it girlfriend,” Ella said. “In the Bible, the Devil’s big scene is tempting Eve… With fruit from the Tree of Knowledge of Good and Evil which God had forbidden mortals. Now just pause a moment there, God sticks a big shiny red… apple in the middle of Eden and says ‘Don’t Touch’. Like that’s gonna work, us humans just aren’t hardwired that way. Well, alright, there are people out there who go for blind obedience but me? People that roll that way, they give me the creeps. But back on point, Lucifer tempts mortals into taking knowledge God denied them and is cast down into Hell for it. Meanwhile our friend Prometheus, he steals knowledge the gods would have forbidden mortals and he’s cursed to an eternity of torment too. In both stories the Light-bringer gives mortals knowledge that God or the gods would have denied them and is punished for it. In one story he’s our champion, in the other he’s the root of all evil. Same guy?”

“So maybe Greek Mythology and the Bible are talking about someone entirely different?” Chloe said tentatively.

Ella grinned. “Now you’ve got Christianity spreading across the globe, pushing out a bunch of older religions, but they don’t just go away. Bits and pieces get incorporated. So you’ve got satyr, they go around doing some bad shit, mostly sexual, and BAM the next thing you know the Devil’s got goat horns.”

“There were stories about evil before the Devil from the Bible… But those evils got attributed to him as soon as Christianity showed up in an area?” Chloe asked.

Ella nodded, “You gotta watch secondary sources. Lilith for example, you know Adam’s first wife?”

“Adam’s a divorce?” Chloe asked, then muttered “That figures.”

“Exactly, and she got kicked out of Eden before the whole apple thing,” Ella said. “And Lilith was made from clay just like Adam. Now some versions of the story say it was because she killed their kids, in which case: yeah, that is one evil bitch. But other versions? She wanted to be Adam’s equal, or she just wanted to be on top during sex once and awhile. And so she gets kicked out and God makes Adam a new companion from Adam’s rib because Eve was _made_ to be Adam’s helpmate not his equal. So like, what the fuck?” Ella continued. “Bunch of crap trying to justify misogyny, right?”

Chloe nodded, “Okay, watch out for secondary sources and -um-”

“Even the Bible isn’t totally decided on the Devil,” Ella said. “He shows up in the Book of Job but it’s totally clear that he’s got God’s permission to test poor old Job and in the end it’s not the Devil Job asks answers of, ‘cause he knows the Devil’s only an intermediary, that all the shit that happened to him happened because God allowed it.”

“But that’s not what your church says,” Chloe argued. “How did _you_ know better than to just trust their interpretation?”

Ella fingered the cross around her neck. “I want to say ‘cause I’m a scientist and of course I question stuff but it’s more the other way around. The church I grew up in there were a lot of the sort of Christian who can’t be happy in Heaven unless they know their enemies are suffering in Hell and that’s not me. I’m a New Testament kind of girl: Forgiveness, ‘and the greatest of these is love’. All the negativity in my church and the looking down on people who have a different Faiths- The definition of Faith is believing without proof and I know, generally, what I have Faith in but I didn’t want to hate on other people who believed other stuff, also without proof- I mean, not unless their beliefs made them do something bad but then people manage to interpret pretty much any belief into permission to do some truly awful shit ‘cause- Well, someone somewhere along the line was a huge dick. So anyways, I was on the verge of giving up my Faith altogether back when I was hitting puberty ‘cause what I was hearing Sundays had a lot of hate and hypocrisy mixed in but a good friend of mine reminded me that those people were just people and we’re all imperfect, so if some of the stuff my church espoused didn’t sit right with me… Well it was okay for me to decide that _I_ believed differently. She was always ready to talk with me about the parts that bugged me too.”

“That wouldn’t be your ghost friend would it?” Chloe asked.

Her tone was non-judgemental so Ella shrugged. “Yeah. Her being, ya know, dead sorta lead to thinking about life after death and stuff. What brought all these questions all of a sudden with you?”

Chloe hesitated then sighed. “I screwed up Ella. I- I think, I’m pretty sure Lucifer and I got past it but-“ She shook her head. Then a determined look settled over her features. “I need to figure out where, exactly where, I went wrong. You know, make sure it _never_ happens again. And, you were saying how you talked to your friend? I think that’s where I made my first mistake, there were at least four friends I could have talked to, should have talked to before I did anything else.”

“Hey,” Ella said hesitantly, “He’ll come back. Like you and Amenadiel have been saying: Family emergency. Even if you’re not tight with your family if they need you, you still have to go. But he’ll come back, L.A.’s where his home, his heart is.”

Chloe nodded, too emphatically. “Lucifer’ll come back. I just have to- I screw up Ella, if I could go back and do things differently- I don’t even know how far I have to go back. I _need_ to figure it out.”

Ella bit her lip nervously then said. “I know he’s not a method actor.”

Chloe jerked so badly she knocked several beakers off of Ella’s lab bench. Following the sound of shattering glass there was a moment of stunned silence then Chloe dropped to the floor and started trying to gather up the shards.

“Sharps! Broom!” Ella shouted. “Don’t touch.”

“Yeah, yeah, right,” Chloe muttered searching for the hand broom and dustpan.

“I don’t know what Lucifer’s deal is but I know he’s not a method actor,” Ella resumed. She shrugged, “But me saying method actor all the time, it’s a safe explanation.”

“What do you mean ‘safe’?” Chloe asked, eyes narrowed suspiciously.

“You remember God Johnson and how _easy_ it was for Lucifer to get himself committed?” Ella asked. “I’ve got a ghost friend, that nearly happened to me, without it being a plan. It was bad, Chloe, really bad... But I’ve got a ghost friend… And what she did to the shrink, who was NOT anything like Linda by the by, was positively friendly compared to what she did to the priest who tried an exorcism on me. He ran out screaming about Judgement Day and angry angels, ended up throwing himself off the roof of the Cathedral a few days later. So, anyway, I know Lucifer’s not a method actor but I’m _never_ gonna say anything that could even suggest that he might be delusional. And if you need a sounding board about his thing and how you want to react, well I can listen and it’ll never go further than me. Hey, you’ve got my ghost to hold over my head if you need.”

“Naw, we’re tribe right?” Chloe replied with a small smile. “

“Right!” Ella said enthusiastically. “Speaking of, a tribe night is exactly what we need now.”

Chloe shook her head. “I don’t know. Linda’s got the new baby. I’m pretty sure Maze never wants to see me again.”

“That is nonsense!” Ella exclaimed. “Amenadiel can handle a couple hours of quality kid time, probably needs it. And if there’s something between you and Maze letting it fester is the WORST thing you could do. We are definitely having a tribe night. You and Maze’ll get drunk, hash it out and Linda and I’ll be there to remind you both that we’re all friends. I’m texting them now, you can’t stop me.”

* * *

Ella took Chloe straight to the bar they’d picked for their tribe night to make sure she wouldn’t have a chance to get cold feet. When Maze and Linda entered, Chloe squared her shoulders and stood up before they reached the table. “Maze, I never properly apologize to you,” she said. “I lied to you about how I was feeling and I lied to you about Trixie to keep you away from her. I forgot who you were when I learned what you were. I was wrong and I’m sorry. If you want me to leave, just tell me to go.”

Maze shrugged, “You reacted like a human. No skin off my nose.” Then her smile twisted into something cruel. “I’m not the one who staked anything on you being better than that.”

Chloe nodded, her expression resigned and started to walk awake. “Stay,” Maze ordered before Ella could make a grab for her arm.

Chloe took a deep breath and sank back into her chair.

Linda leaned close to Maze and hissed, “Be nice.”

“I’m not nice,” Maze stated bluntly. She turned toward the nearest waitress and shouted, “Vodka, and keep it coming.”

After her fifth shot, Maze caught the waitress’s arm as she started to pour. She took the bottle out of the woman’s hand. “I’ll keep this, you go get me another,” she ordered.

Fifteen minutes later Maze slammed her second empty bottle down on the table. “Of course I was going to stay!” she exclaimed. “Trust Amenadiel to protect Linda and Charlie?” she scoffed. “And who else is going to teach the little human how to handle knives properly,” she gave Chloe a narrow eyed glare, “I’ve seen you chop vegetables, it’s pathetic. But Lucifer still could have asked. Not that I’m surprised, him being too busy saving you to even think about anyone else.”

As Maze worked her way through the third bottle she continued to alternate between complaining about Lucifer and taking verbal shots at Chloe.

Ella watched with trepidation as Maze started in on her fourth bottle. “Not to be a party-pooper or anything but you might want to slow down a little Maze. I know you’re a total badass but biology is biology and getting your stomach pumped is even less fun than it sounds like.”

“Doesn’t rate as torture in Hell.” Maze cracked the seal on the bottle and took a swig, not bothering with a glass.

“Maze!” Ella grabbed the bottle and tried to pull it away from her friend. “I’m not going to sit here and watch you kill yourself! You just drank, um seventy-five ounces of alcohol! You’re what? A hundred and twenty pounds? That’s a BAC of… of 2.9?!? How are you not DEAD?”

A wicked looking dagger appeared in Maze’s hand, “Let go of the bottle,” she ordered as she slammed the blade into the table.

Ella let go and sank back into her seat, mouth gaping open in shock. The table wasn’t plyboard and over an inch of the blade was buried in its heart.

“Maze and Lucifer both have a- Well, a genetic abnormality,” Linda explained quickly. “They metabolize alcohol at a fantastic rate. Truly, Maze isn’t in any danger.”

“I’m just past buzzed,” Maze grumbled.

Ella nodded and felt a little like a bobble-head, she couldn’t take her eyes off the knife.

With a defiant glare Maze tipped her latest bottle back and chugged half of it.

Several minutes later Maze’s glare drifted back to Chloe. “Stupid little Miracle, conspiring with that priest the send the Devil back to Hell when all you had to do was ask,” she said, a twisted smile curling her lips but stopping well short of her eyes.

Ella felt like she’d suddenly been dumped onto a tilt-a-whirl, up was down and nothing made sense anymore.

“Chloe, you didn’t,” Linda breathed.

“He didn’t tell you?” Chloe asked, stunned.

“Apparently shielding you mattered more than talking to his therapist about-” Linda shook her head. “And somehow, when you were telling me about freaking out and running away you apparently FORGOT the part about teaming up with someone who was TRYING TO KILL LUCIFER.”

Chloe shook her head. “Kill, no Kinley wasn’t-”

And the pieces all fell together. “Because he was going to exorcise Lucifer?” Ella asked angrily. “Maybe you’ve never been through one of those but I have. Believe me, I totally get how it could go too far and someone ends up dead. And that Kinley, he was the definition of the goes too far sort- But you didn’t figure that out until he started soliciting murders, did you? That’s how you knew he was involved, because you were involved with him. And I thought Lucifer was overreacting by quitting. I asked him if you had to take a bullet for him to prove you cared about him…” Ella deflated suddenly. “And then you tried to shield him from that bomb; which I so rocked at defusing; but still, you thought it was going to go off so basically you did try to take a bullet for him. Which convinced him that you wanted him alive… Okay, okay, I’m mad but too late I guess since you and Lucifer made up ages ago and he’s the one you hurt so- Okay.”

“I was really, really stupid,” Chloe said quietly. “I was scared and confused. And how was I supposed to trust myself when I nearly married-”

“A psychotic, mass murdering, infamous crime lord bastard?” Maze asked helpfully.

“A pairing which you helped along,” Linda hissed at Maze under her breath.

“And then-” Chloe’s eyes darted toward Ella and away quickly. “The ambush at the loft we shouldn’t have survived but we did. And then Lucifer killed Pierce-”

“Long past time _he_ was rotting in Hell,” Maze muttered and no one disagreed.

“And- And I saw- I forgot _who_ Lucifer was,” Chloe finished. “Or I just- I nearly married C- the Sinnerman! Palmetto, I never once considered that Dan could have been the shooter but he was. Look at my track record. How was I supposed to trust _anything_ I thought about Lucifer or anything else for that matter?”

Ella sighed, “Then Kinley found you and convinced you to believe Lucifer was actually the Devil, not just that but the worst possible interpretation of the Devil. Whatever happened at that loft must have been wilder than even I figured and I analyzed the place.” she shook her head, “Thinking the actual devil would hang out in L.A. and steal Dan’s pudding. Angels have got to have better things to do with their time.”

Linda and Chloe traded a look that Ella didn’t get, at all, then they were laughing hysterically. Maze watched them with a sullen, disappointed sort of anger. She knocked back another healthy fraction of her latest bottle.

“I know I screwed up, so bad,” Chloe said, rubbing a hand over her face once she’d recovered from the laughing. “I know that. I wish I could go back and fix it, I wish I knew where I went wrong. Was it when I stopped trying to figure what was with Lucifer? Anyway, I’ve got to make sure I don’t make any more mistakes. Then maybe he’ll be able to come back.”

Ella felt a chill run down her spine. “Okay, I’ve been watching Maze try to drown herself in liquor but how much have _you_ been drinking?” she asked Chloe. “You and Amenadiel keep saying ‘family emergency’, are you lying?”

“Bargaining,” Linda said knowingly. She licked her lips nervously and took a deep breath, “Ella, what’s going on, it’s sort of a big deal. Lucifer might not be able to get away from his responsibilities, he might not come back.”

“That would suck,” Ella said. “But we can figure out some sort of long distance thing, it’s not like he’s dead.”

“Just in Hell,” Maze remarked. She gave Chloe another of her toothy, predatory smiles, “You make him soft. Now he’s back _there_ , with all your stupid human emotions and _sentiment_ ,” she spat. “I bet you think all that crap’ll make him a better king. No, just means it’ll fuck him up worse. Putting down Dromos’ coup is only the start of it. Even the day-to-day of what he has to do-” Maze never took her eyes off Chloe, watching for her barbs to hit home, until a small, stricken noise escaped Linda. “I didn’t- Linda, I’m sorry,” Maze stammered. “I didn’t mean it.”

Linda gave her a pained smile, “You did and you weren’t wrong, except about where you put the blame. A big part of therapy is breaking down unhealthy coping mechanisms so that a person can replace them with better ones. When Lucifer decided he was done with therapy I was worried and that was when I thought he’d be here, surrounded by friends and relatively safe. If I’d known he’d be dragged back _there._..”

Ella shivered, she knew Lucifer had a difficult relationship with his family but this sounded like a lot more than strained family relations. _‘You can’t ignore family in trouble- Maybe one of us should have gone with him. They might be Lucifer’s family but he’s ours.’_


	4. Time Never Stops

Sitting in Linda’s livingroom while Charlie ignored his birthday presents in favor of crinkling the wrapping paper and wearing a box on his head like a crown Ella couldn’t believe how quickly time passed.

“Look they’re as dull as Decker’s underwear drawer,” Maze was saying as she stabbed herself in the leg with the largest of a set of realistic-looking toy knives. “And the balance isn’t completely awful. Nowhere near good enough for throwing but okay for basic hand-to-hand training.”

“Stay out of my underwear drawer Maze,” Chloe ordered without any real hope of being listened to.

“Charlie is one Maze, ONE,” Linda protested. “He’s just barely learned to walk, he does not need to learn knife fighting.”

Maze frowned a little, “Yeah, I’ve been worried about that. Are you sure it’s normal for mortals to stay helpless for so long? Lilith would have cut my throat before putting up with this sort of dawdling.”

“Charlie’s development is completely normal for a human,” Linda replied and Ella thought she sounded a little too relieved at that. _And did she just mumble something about_ ‘Not a hint of feathers’ _?_

Chloe gave Maze an intense questioning look and Ella wasn’t surprised when the detective dragged the bounty hunter off to interrogate her in private a little bit later. It was far from the first time that some random comment had set Chloe digging for answers in a secret puzzle that Ella wasn’t privy to, _And I’m totally not hurt by that exclusion or anything._

Over the last year Chloe had quizzed Ella repeatedly about the Bible, what it said, what it didn’t say, how different sects interpreted certain things differently. She’d asked about Ella’s personal religious beliefs and how she’d developed them, particularly how Ella had developed personal beliefs that didn’t necessarily mesh with the beliefs of the church she’d grown up in. Ella was still undecided if Chloe was trying to work out what it was about the Devil that had made their Lucifer associate himself with him or if she was trying to figure out how you could have Faith without believing indiscriminately.

Ella didn’t know what Chloe talked about with Maze, Linda or Amenadiel beyond the obvious: That it was about Lucifer, somehow, but she knew how those conversations hit Chloe. In the wake of conversations with Amenadiel the detective leaned towards slamming doors and glaring furiously at Amenadiel. With Linda, Chloe could either come away calmer or with a tight expression that said she’d run into ‘patient confidentiality’ and didn’t know whether to be angry about being denied or grateful that Lucifer had found a therapist who was so protective of him. When it was Maze… Ella glanced worriedly after the retreating pair.

_It was four months after Lucifer disappeared, at the end of Tribe night where Ella and Maze were pouring their light-weight friends into cabs instead of the sort of night that ended with a brawl and the four of them being blacklisted at yet another bar._

_“Up for another round Ellen?” Maze asked after giving the Uber driver Linda’s address and flashing her knife at him while informing him that he was going to take very good care of her friends._

_“As long as it’s a drink of water for me,” Ella said. “I don’t have your crazy metabolism and I do have church in the morning. It was embarrassing enough to show up at work with sunglasses to hide hangover-eyes.”_

_Maze snorted and shook her head, “Whatever.” One drink turned into Maze polishing off a bottle. “I remember torture being more satisfying,” Maze complained as she eyed empty unhappily._

_“You know, maybe you could lighten up on Chloe,” Ella suggested cautiously. “We know she was wrong, she knows it. It’s just, you know, what’s the point of hanging out if you’re just going to, well, rub it in? It’s not like Chloe’s trying to defend what she did.”_

_“They never do,” Maze replied matter of factly. “Not once the guilt hooks in properly. They stew in it, relive how they screwed up over and over again. They try to make up for it but they never can. We go in and turn the screws every now and then, they don’t really need it but a demon gets bored you know. This isn’t fun, so I gotta wonder, is it because it’s Decker? Or is it me? Have I changed?”_

Ella wished she could say that the talks between Chloe and Maze got better after that but they didn’t. _‘It’s like Poe asking the Raven questions even when he knows the answer isn’t gonna be what he wants to hear… But maybe the Raven wished she could say something besides ‘Nevermore’.'_

The patio door shut behind Maze and Chloe and Ella tried to refocus on the party. She smiled when Charlie lunged for a particularly sparkly bit of discarded wrapping paper. The movement was a bit overly ambitious for the toddler and he fell on his butt but his diaper absorbed the impact and he only giggled at his fall. Unfortunately, the little boy was the rare bright spot in the party. Dan was standing by the door, looking like he felt out of place even though he was one of Amenadiel’s closest friends. Trixie was looking in the direction her mom had vanished in with a grim expression, Ella could only figure that she’d made the same connection Ella had about Chloe’s likely mood when she and Maze had finished their private talk, the same could be said for Linda.

“Does anyone want another drink?” Amenadiel asked and Ella winced at the forced cheerfulness in his tone.

“I’ll help you,” she said with a last glance after Maze and Chloe.

When they reached the kitchen, Ella gave Amenadiel a hug, _Because he looks like he needs one._ She wasn’t entirely surprised when he froze in shock and didn’t seem to have a clue as to what to do in response. “Yep, definitely Lucifer’s brother,” she told Amenadiel with a bright smile. “He never knows how to deal with a friendly hug either.”

Amenadiel’s shoulders sagged, his attempt at being cheerful crumpled into dust.

“Oh! And I’m an idiot,” Ella said. She smacked her forehead as she realized that Charlie’s birthday was practically the first anniversary of Lucifer’s disappearance. “But- Well, I’m never sure if it’s okay to ask or not- _Have_ you heard anything from Lucifer?”

“He responded to Dan’s message,” Amenadiel said with a deep sigh. “I gave Dan the letter earlier today. But Lucifer chose to use intermediaries rather than taking the opportunity to speak with me directly.” When he looked at Ella, Amenadiel’s eyes were pools of boundless guilt. “Of course he doesn’t want to talk with me. Charlie and Linda are the best things that ever happened to me. How many times have I denied Lucifer the chance for those kinds of connections? How many times did I force him back into the role our Father assigned to him without a thought for his happiness?”

“Lucifer wouldn’t stay if he didn’t think it was important,” Ella offered, it was her nature to want to make the people around her feel better.

“I spent so long trying to convince Lucifer that his duties were important,” Amenadiel said distantly. “And they _are_ important. But this, it feels as if Lucifer has surrendered to his fate. Was he truly convinced of the importance of his task, or only that _he_ was unimportant?”

“You passed a message for Dan,” Ella said. “Could you give Lucifer a message from me too? Tell him we miss him and I don’t want to lose a friend. If the only way we can stay in touch is snail-mail I’m good with that. Point me toward pen and paper, ‘cause I’m not leaving here today without doing something to let him know that.”

A small smile graced Amenadiel’s face, “You are a force of nature, Ella Lopez,” he said.

Ella shook her head, “Naw, I just know a friend worth keeping when I see one.”

* * *

The next day at work Dan slipped into Ella’s lab then shut the door behind him. Ella’s gaze fixated on the oddly coarse sheet of paper in his hand, a bit of sealing wax showing near the fold. “Is that it? Amenadiel told me he gave you a letter from Lucifer- Which he probably shouldn’t have. Um- he doesn’t quite get dating a therapist does he? I’m only guessing that you writing Lucifer was part of your therapy, of course. But -um- educated guess, you guys weren’t close and -um- Tiernan. You were totally out of line.” Ella said without giving Dan any chance to interject.

He nodded. “You’re right, I was and yeah, that was the wake up call that got me into therapy. I did write an apology for how I acted toward him after Charlotte died but-” Dan sighed. He held the oddly old-fashion looking letter out to Ella, “Could you read it? Does this sound like Lucifer to you?”

Ella’s eyes widened as she caught sight of the writing, “Wow, that’s like a work of art. I took a couple classes in calligraphy, between learning to speak Klingon, sewing, um for cosplay and well it is a useful skill, pottery, fanfic, hotwiring cars… Forget that last one please. I haven’t hotwired any car not belonging to Lucifer in YEARS and he asked me to, for educational purposes, not that he needed it. I’ve got no idea how his method works, there is NO science behind turn the ignition and expect the car to start, key or no key. But anyway,” Ella held up the letter, “This is a work of art. Do you have any idea how HARD it is to write with a real live nib pen without dripping ink all over the page? I gave up and just stick with the broad tip markers and stuff.”

“So- does that mean you think Lucifer didn’t write it?” Dan asked with a worried frown.

“Nah, it actually explains some things,” Ella said as she dove for a desk drawer and dug through it for a few minutes then managed to pull up an invitation to Lux. “So I know this was written by Lucifer-”

“It looks completely different,” Dan said.

Ella shook her head. “This was written with a ballpoint pen. And, yeah it’s pretty fancy but nothing like your letter. Only the difference isn’t the writing style, it's the writing _instrument_. See here?” She pointed to a capital ‘I’ on her invitation then to one in Dan’s letter. “It looks like just a slightly curved line with a ballpoint but with a broad, rectangular pen nib, when he turns the pen the line varies in width, emphasizing the curves. I only dabble in handwriting analysis but, in my opinion, there’s a lot in common between these two samples, if you ignore the difference in the pen.” Ella rubbed the paper between her fingers, “And if Lucifer’s ‘Silver City’ and/or ‘Hell’ are still using inkwells and handmade paper, well that explains why we can’t call him doesn’t it?”

“Just read it,” Dan asked. “Does that sound like Lucifer to you?”

Ella smoothed out the letter and read.

_Dear Daniel,_

_While deeply appreciated, your apology is unnecessary. Your actions, while unpleasant, did me no harm and were understandable, given the circumstances. I implore you, think nothing more of the matter._

_Sincerely,_   
_Lucifer Morningstar_

“Well, Lucifer does tend to be a little formal and almost everyone is more formal when they’re writing… Off line anyway,” Ella said. “It’s sort of lacking in specifics-”

“Exactly!” Dan exclaimed. “And actually using my name? That’s not Lucifer.”

“Well, he’s hardly going to accept your apology by calling you Detective Douche,” Ella said rolling her eyes.

“Of course he would,” Dan argued. He grimaced, “Writing the apology was something Dr. Martin suggested. She told me I shouldn’t expect a response, that it was a way for me to acknowledge my actions and move past them- But now? I mean, I’m not saying I think Chloe or Amenadiel were _lying_ about the whole family emergency thing but what if it was Lucifer’s family behind Charlie’s kidnapping?”

“That would satisfy Lucifer’s not-lying thing,” Ella admitted reluctantly. “If the ‘family emergency’ was Lucifer’s family kidnapped Charlie and Lucifer had to go back to keep them from doing it again. But how would Kinley fit in with that?”

Dan shrugged. “Lucifer’s dad is as manipulative as Lucifer says he is and took advantage of Kinley’s brand of crazy? And even if their family wasn’t involved in the kidnapping and the family emergency is a real family emergency, someone sick, or something- Well, Lucifer has major problems with his family and he wasn’t in a good frame of mind when he left. Did he talk to you about _hating_ himself?” Dan asked.

Ella winced. “Then he got over it,” she said.

“He got over it after he dared a sniper to shoot him too,” Dan said. “And then, after a couple weeks being fine, he convinced a human lie-detector that he wanted himself dead.” He picked up the letter, “I shouldn’t but I keep wanting to treat this as a potential proof of life but at the same time I just can’t trust it.”

Ella gave Dan a big hug, “I’m sure Lucifer’s okay. Amenadiel would know if anything happened and he wouldn’t hide it.”


	5. Graveside

_‘Don’t be dead. Don’t be dead,’_ Ella thought over and over again as she stumbled along a narrow, faintly marked trail through the Angeles National Forest.

After Linda’s request for recordings of Lucifer playing or singing for Charlie, _‘Linda doesn’t think Charlie will ever meet his uncle. Could she have been any less convincing when she promised Lucifer’s not dead?’_ After Linda left Ella couldn’t get the fear that Lucifer had died and it was being covered up out of her head. Somehow, Ella wasn’t totally sure how, she’d managed to convince herself that, if it was true, Lucifer would have been buried in the same isolated glade where he’d once asked her to analyze the disturbance of a secret grave.

When she reached a steep ravine, Ella forced herself to stop and take a moment to catch her breath and collect her wits. _‘No Lucifer to catch you if you slip this time,’_ Ella reminded herself. The thought left her sobbing for a good fifteen minutes before she was able to go on.

As she settled Ella realized that the energy of the place was surprisingly good for a spot so close to a clandestine grave. Even the most beautiful dump sites she’d dealt with professionally had a patina of darkness on them and Ella had always assumed that the act of concealing or abandoning a body carried enough negativity to taint the surroundings. But this was a good place and it helped Ella calm herself despite what she feared she’d find on the other side of the ravine. _‘What do I even do if I find out that Chloe, Linda and Amenadiel are covering up Lucifer’s death? Please don’t be dead, Lucifer but if you are, I- I- Chloe and Linda are my friends, I trust them. They’d have to have a reason right? Big Guy, be with me?’_

There was no answer but Ella felt more settled for asking. _‘I need facts before anything else. I won’t give up on Lucifer without absolute proof.’_ Carefully she picked her way down the steep, narrow trail then back up the exhausting climb on the far side. At the top she stopped to take a drink from her canteen, glad she’d kept enough of her wits to bring it when she set off. _‘It’s a lot hotter than it was in October but it’s just another quarter mile.’_

Ella stood up and slogged on and then, finally, she was there. Back in the quiet glade where sunlight filtered through the leaves as if through stained glass falling on the old, faded depression of the disturbed grave. Ella fell to her knees, sobbing and laughing in sheer relief. _‘Thank you! Thank you!’_ she thought, looking upward. There was no second grave, nothing but time had softened the remains of the hole she’d investigated for Lucifer one Halloween.

“Ms, are you all right?” a voice asked.

Ella’s heart skipped a beat at the familiar accent before her rational mind caught up. The accent might be the same but the voice was at least an octave higher. She pasted on a smile before turning, “Just a patch of rough ground,” she said.

“That’s to be expected this far off the main trails,” the man said, sounding amused. He was a tall, handsome man of Indian descent with a dark complexion, a warm smile and a remarkably bright aura. He offered Ella a hand up, “Raz, pleased to make your acquaintance, Ms...”

“Ella.” She let him pull her to her feet and quickly rubbed a sleeve over her eyes, trying to hide that tears had been leaking from her eyes.

If Raz had noticed he was polite enough not to mention it. “A rather odd trip hazard,” he commented, gesturing to the old grave. “What do you make of it?”

Ella giggled nervously. “You know it’s just the right size for a grave,” she said. “But who’d bury someone way out in the woods, right? I mean, you saw the trail in, carrying a body would be just brutal. And the ravine? Not a good spot for a team carry, you’d practically have to have super strength or a helicopter. No way that it’s a grave, no matter how much it looks like one.”

Raz smiled indulgently. “But not a bad place for it if it were. The energy of this place is very restful, don’t you agree?”

“You noticed that too?” Ella asked in surprise. “Most people don’t, at least not consciously. Or they don’t mention it ever. People worry too much about not seeming weird right?”

“The other place is a dump,” Raz muttered under his breath.

“What?” Ella asked, her brow scrunching up.

Raz smiled, “Nothing. Just wondering, hypothetically, if it were a grave, what does it say about the person who picked it?”

Ella shrugged, “Speaking as a forensic scientist, and assuming this is a grave, it says personal connection, remorse and/or love.”

Raz gave Ella an encouraging smile, “Does it now?”

“Hypothetically,” Ella back-peddled. “You know, ‘cause without a body you don’t have a grave, just a suspicious shaped hole in the ground.

“For the sake of discussion,” Raz allowed. “If this was a grave, why does it say the person who put the body here loved their victim?”

“Victim, that’s a hypothetical too far,” Ella protested. _I trust Lucifer, if he said he wasn’t asking anything unethical of me then he didn’t ask me to keep quiet about a murder for him. I don’t know who was buried here, how they were connected to Lucifer or how they ended up dead but I trust him._

“What else could it be?” Raz asked.

“Um- Assisted suicide. Covering up a natural causes death, like for insurance money or something,” _-Probably not-_ “Self-defense, an accident- Some people don’t trust the police or the justice system.” _-And wasn’t that how Lucifer started consulting anyway? ‘Cause he didn’t trust the police to figure out who murdered that singer friend of his? Plus there was the attempt to frame him, I probably got my job because of the vacancies from cleaning house after that whole mess was dealt with._

Raz chuckled, “Inhuman DNA that the world is not ready to know about?”

“Like mutants or superhumans?” Ella grinned back, glad her new friend wasn’t taking this all too seriously. _But then Maze and Lucifer do have some weird genetic thing going on with the whole alcohol immunity thing. Was whoever this was a family member?_ “Religious beliefs? Like no autopsies or maybe something even more unusual ‘cause the police would have respected it if it was a religious thing.” _And we knew about it and couldn’t get around it if we thought someone was using religious exceptions to obstruct a murder investigation. Although Lucifer's family apparently doesn’t believe in phones or writing implements from this century so their beliefs about how to handle a dead body might be pretty out there._

For some reason that struck Raz as hilarious. Once he got his snickering under control he asked, “But still, how do you get caring out of this?”

Ella shrugged, “This is a good place, you and I both sensed that. And it’s as close to the middle of nowhere that you can get within a couple hours of L.A., so either the place was picked because it was a good place or the person who made the grave was looking for a place like this,” she explained. “Somewhere nice, to rest undisturbed… Well, as long as no one starts handing out maps to the place.” _The map was on paper from Charlotte’s old firm, she must have been the one who helped him, I mean you’d either need at least two people or super strength to get a body all the way out here but Charlotte was in the middle of having her break down and… And she was Lucifer’s step-mom or something, whoever was buried here probably was family. No wonder Lucifer was such a mess a couple weeks before he brought me out here, that must have been when they died._ “Making a grave out here took, hypothetically took, a lot of effort. You don’t go to all this trouble if you don’t care.”

“Or it’s an act of atonement,” Raz said thoughtfully.

Ella cringed a little but couldn’t help but nod. _I shouldn’t be talking about this. I don’t even know him. I mean Raz has this great light to him, actually, he reminds me a lot of Lucifer, Rae-Rae, Charlie, Amenadiel and Charlotte before she went all dark- Weird how Charlotte went all but lightless and got nicer, sort of, for a certain definition of nice. And Amenadiel’s light wasn’t that notable when I first met him but when he brightened up he sort of jumped straight past bright to supernova. I used to think it was just Rae-Rae and that she was so much brighter than everyone else because of the ghost thing; No body to hide her light; but then I met Lucifer and wow, a lot of people connected to him are like Rae-Rae-bright. Still doesn’t mean I should be talking so much to this Raz guy, I don’t really know him._ “So this has been fun but I’ve got a long walk back,” Ella said.

Raz glanced towards the sun. “You have a point. This isn’t a trail to hike after sunset,” he said as he fell in beside her.

Ella hoped her grin didn’t look too rictus and figured she could use walking as an excuse not to talk.

Raz strolled along beside her in silence for a while. Ella stole a few worried glances, wondering when he’d push her to pick up the conversation she’d so suddenly dropped.

“Do you have siblings Ms. Ella?” Raz asked after several minutes.

“Four brothers,” Ella said.

Raz nodded. “I have brothers as well,” he said. “Several of them were embroiled in a terrible fight, I didn’t really have an opinion and didn’t want to get in the middle.” He shrugged, “It wasn’t hard, I’m one of the younger ones and no one really cared what I thought anyway.”

“Yeah, I know how that goes,” Ella sighed. “Except for being the youngest, total middle child here, but I was the lone girl in a houseful of brothers, they didn’t count my opinion for much. So what happened?”

“It was less a happening than, I think, a slow creep. I believe my family’s imploding, hamstrung by half-measures and choking on silence,” Raz said slowly. “And I believe it’s coming to a head once again. I don’t wish to be silent this time, to stand on the sidelines and allow my silence to become its own answer. This time, I’ll take a stand… I just don’t know where I’ll stand.”

He smiled a little at Ella, “I came here for clarity. Thank you, your company has been very helpful but then I’ve always found insight in speaking with mor- people.”

* * *

_‘Today ended pretty well, in spite of how it started,’_ Ella thought as she carefully eased her car into the always open, awkward corner space in the garage beneath her apartment. _‘Raz was so easy to talk to and he wasn’t the only one who needed someone to talk to. Damn I miss Lucifer. I hope he’s okay, wherever he’s at.’_

A few hours later while she was making dinner it hit Ella, _‘Just because Lucifer thought that glade was a good place to bury someone it doesn’t mean someone else, Amenadiel, would necessarily think it was a good place to secretly bury Lucifer- If he was dead. Which he’s not. He had a family emergency to deal with, like Chloe and Amenadiel keep saying.’_

_‘I trust Chloe,’_ Ella told herself as she brushed her teeth. _‘I don’t really know Amenadiel that well, but I trust Chloe- Even if she did have a serious lapse of judgement about Lucifer for a while there. And Linda, Linda wouldn’t cover up a murder, well, unless it was to protect Charlie. And isn’t that just what Dan’s been thinking? That all of them: Linda, Amenadiel, Maze and Lucifer himself would do whatever they had to to keep Charlie safe? Chloe wouldn’t though, she believes in the justice system, temporary insanity aside, she wouldn’t let Lucifer’s death be covered up. Chloe has to be telling the truth about it being a family emergency.’_

Laying in bed, not sleeping, Ella remembered Rae-Rae showing up to persuade her not to move back to her family in Detroit. _‘I do get where Rae-Rae was coming from. My family’s always loved me and always means well but sometimes they aren’t good for me. Dan had another point about Lucifer not being in a great state of mind and about how being around his family probably won’t make it better._

_‘It’s Amenadiel’s family too, he’d tell us if anything was wrong… Wouldn’t he? Unless Dan’s right and the ‘family emergency’ was Lucifer’s family kidnapped Charlie- Still doesn’t explain Kinley’s involvement. Nothing explains the shit that went down at the Mayan, I don’t get how anyone could get that many different sorts of people to off themselves like that- And what happened to the blood? We never found the blood. Some sort of freaky ritual somewhere else? Please, not involving Lucifer.’_

Ella spent most of the night trying to re-convince herself that Lucifer couldn’t possibly be dead. _‘I didn’t want to do this, I don’t want to think this but-’_ On top of the lingering BOLO’s and alerts on Lucifer’s credit cards following his disappearance and the LAPD’s ongoing fears that he was a yet uncounted victim of the Mayan Massacre, Ella had her own informal system of friends and acquaintances from all over the country and beyond; she loved conferences and had a knack for making connections. And she had them all on the lookout in case Lucifer turned up hurt. Because Lucifer wasn’t really that firm on how friends helped each other and Ella figured the odds were that he _wouldn’t_ ask for help so she took it on herself to be as aware as possible if he needed help. But there was one friend Ella hadn’t asked to be on the look out for Lucifer, one friend who she didn’t want to find him.

In the early hours of the morning Ella gave up on trying to sleep. She got up, pulled on a robe then sat in the center of her living room, took several deep, meditative breaths and cleared her mind of everything except the image _that_ friend. “Rae-Rae?” she asked. “Could I ask a favor?”

A few minutes later a voice said, “Must be serious, you haven’t called for me in forever.”

Ella spun around, a smile lighting up her face, “Rae-Rae! You came! I wasn’t sure you would, I wasn’t very friendly last time.”

The slight young woman with bobbed hair and a Periodic Table tee-shirt paired with a short skirt and legging shrugged. “I do get it: A new life. A good life. With no one calling you crazy,” Rae-Rae’s mouth thinned. “Or trying to exorcise or institutionalize you. Being friends with me endangered you and that’s the last thing I ever wanted. I wouldn’t have popped up if you weren’t thinking about going back _there_.”

Rae-Rae refrained from saying _‘To the family who tried to do that to you,’_ but Ella heard it anyway. She gave her friend a small, sad smile. “I get it. What you were trying to do. Turns out it’s easier to see from the outside, when I’m the one worrying about a friend being hurt by their family.” She sighed. “Momma and Dad want the best for me but they don’t understand: I’m not normal and trying to force me into that box breaks me.”

“Boo normal,” Rae-Rae replied immediately, automatically. “So what’s this favor anyway?”

“So, the ghost-rules you were mentioning last time? I know there was some fibbing going on but -um- Rae-Rae, do you have contact with other people who’ve died?”

“I can’t do the medium thing and help you solve cases,” Rae-Rae warned.

“Yeah I figured,” Ella said. “This is -well- personal. A friend of mine went missing almost two years ago. I’ve been looking for him. Honestly, I expected Lucifer to turn up in a few weeks at most.”

“Lucifer?” Rae-Rae squeaked.

Ella waved off her shock easily. “He’s a great guy, really sweet.” Her eyes narrowed, “And weren’t you the one who started saying the Devil gets a bad rap? And you _nailed_ that debate, totally destroyed all of Father Costa’s rhetoric, even if he couldn’t hear you. Besides Lucifer’s not actually the Devil, you know L.A., or I guess, seriously fucked up family, ‘cause he says it’s not a stage name.”

“Yeah, yeah, I was just surprised?” Rae-Rae said. “You said he’s missing?”

Ella nodded. “I really was expecting him to turn up,” she said. “I mean, he’s the definition of noticeable: One of the most beautiful men I’ve ever met-”

Rae-Rae wrinkled her nose, “Seriously? Lu- cifer? Not that I know him, of course I don’t know him, so I’m not judging, totally not judging. But, I mean, Lopez, how dare you go and get a crush on my- How dare you start drooling over a guy and not tell me?”

“It’s not like that!” Ella exclaimed. “First he’s entirely into Chloe. Beyond that he has this huge big brother vibe- Well, around me anyway.” Ella frowned a little at the pleased smile that crossed Rae-Rae’s face. “Rae-Rae? You don’t have a crush on me or anything right?”

“No way Lopez!” Rae-Rae said quickly.

“Well, anyway, Lucifer’s totally an adopted brother for me. And I like it that way! Lucifer flirts with EVERYONE, literally, he’s the most pan- person I’ve ever met, I mean it’s pretty much if you’re interested he’s interested. So -um- little sister status- well, it feels special-er than just being another person he’d take to bed, or the interview rooms or the evidence rooms, or the Lieutenant's office and it wasn’t even the Lieutenant he was doing when I walked in on that one… Well, you get the point. So, Lucifer is gorgeous, he _loves_ the spotlight. He makes music like an angel and he goes around telling anyone who’ll give him half an ear how he’s the Devil. He wears bespoke suits everywhere… Except when he’s exercising his utterly _unmatched_ capacity for finding excuses to get naked in public, not that anyone minds the view. How does anyone NOT notice someone like Lucifer? Not that there’s anyone else like Lucifer. But nothing and it’s been two years.” Ella faltered.

“He left you worrying?” Rae-Rae frowned.

“I don’t know that he had a choice and Rae, as much as I want to believe he’s fine I’m starting to get scared.” Ella said. “My whole tribe’s in one of the stages of grief or the other and I _know_ that can be any loss, not just death but- But the circumstances he vanished under- Seriously, the whole LAPD would be a lot happier if we had _some_ evidence that Lucifer was okay. Amenadiel said he’d middleman a penpal thing but Lucifer hasn’t written back yet and even if does, Dan’s got me to the point where I’d probably submit it to a handwriting expert for a second opinion on whether or not it’s really Lucifer. And- and- You’re a ghost. Do you have contact with other dead people? Could you- You know, check if Lucifer’s around. I mean I really hope you fail but could you? And I guess that wouldn’t even really prove he was alive but I’d take failing to prove he was dead right now.”

“You’re a good friend, you know that right, Ella?” Rae-Rae said.

“Can you do it?”

“I -um- don’t see everyone who dies you know, but -well- I can ask around,” Rae-Rae prevaricated.

“Thanks,” Ella said with a grateful smile. “It’d be a weight off my mind.”

* * *

A day later, when Ella glanced out the lab window and saw Lucifer being confronted by a highly conflicted Dan her first reaction was sheer joy, _‘Thanks Big Guy, for getting him home safe,’_ she thought as she pushed aside the sample she’d been working on and peeled off her gloves.

She felt a bit of a triumphant _‘I told you so!’_ as she stepped out into the bullpen directed at everyone who’d doubted that Lucifer could or would make his way back to them. There was a frisson of anger, mostly self-directed, that she’d ever let herself doubt, even for a moment, that Lucifer was alive.

Ella headed toward Lucifer with every intention of giving in to the impulse to hug him. She figured she could make a decision on the impulse to scold him after hugging the daylights out of him. _‘Doesn’t he know we’d worry? That he can count on me just as much as Jay, Max, Julio and Ricardo can? Even if it’s only to lend a sympathetic ear? He could have at least said goodbye before he vanished!’_

Then Ella hugged Lucifer and her world tilted on its axis because he didn’t just stiffen in bemusement at being the recipient of affection, he flinched. A moment later Ella registered the missing arm, _‘Oh God, his music! You can’t take that away from him!’_ and the look of fear and pain flashing across Lucifer’s face. Ella wanted to hug him again, tighter than ever, and never let go. She wanted to demand to know what had happened, how had this happened? She wanted to bundle him off to somewhere safe. But Lucifer pulled his careless charm around him like a shield and Ella knew she had to let him pretend that everything was okay.


End file.
